Our family has just experienced a change that is hard for me on some levels, but is far outweighed by the good it is for the main person involved. And that is Amanda.
Our little TWA is now a college student. Her dad and I took her to Omaha on Saturday to check in at Grace University. It's a great Christian college and I know it is where God wants her to be. Her classes begin tomorrow. She is going to get her degree in Elementary Education.
Leading up to the actual day I was doing fine. People would ask me how I was doing, knowing that it would be a big change in our household. I didn't know exactly how I would feel, but a loss for sure. I have depended on Amanda's help at home since she was eight years old. That was when she became a big sister. She has been an enormous help with her three younger siblings. I hope it hasn't been too much of a burden for her. She always seemed very willing to do whatever was necessary. *Hugs to you Amanda!*
Even moving day went well. I helped her load her things into the back of two vehicles. I took pictures, she took one of me. Even our cat Oreo was curious about what was happening.
On Friday August 19th, we left the house. Amanda and her friend Abby went in her car. Kevin and I went in the van. The little kids stayed with friends. We had walkie talkies to communicate during the drive. That was great! I highly recommend the use of them when traveling in separate vehicles at the same time. Especially when you are in stop and go traffic backed up for miles because of an accident or something you have no hope of seeing ahead of you. We had that happen about a half hour into our trip. We took the next available exit and created our own detour off I-80 at the Beaver Crossing exit. We drove north to Hwy 34 and into Lincoln where we were able to get back on the interstate and continue our trip normally. It took a bit longer than usual to get to Glenwood, Iowa that night. We stayed at Kevin's folks' house for the night so we would be closer to Omaha the next morning for checking in.
We had a good time together moving in her things and arranging them. There was a last-minute trip to Kmart for some things her room still needed, or we forgot, and her space was ready. Amanda and I both teared up a little when we gave the final hugs goodbye in her dorm room. But I think that was tempered a bit because her friend was along.
And on the way home, Kevin and I were both so proud and happy for her, that there was no need to cry. I was pretty impressed with myself. Maybe it wasn't going to be as hard as I had imagined.
The next day at church started out like usual. Smiles to friends, some asking how it went. No problems so far. We were sitting down and I was writing out my check for the offering. My hand stopped writing the check as my mind started thinking about how Amanda wasn't with us like she has always been. You know how you automatically think something like, "She must be in the nursery today," or "she just isn't up from Sunday School yet." Then it dawns on you that no, that's not it. She's not here because she's not here. It was starting to sink in. Just like it's doing now as I write this. A little sting in the ocular area. Suddenly a slight blur to the vision as my eyes are a little bit wetter than they were just a few seconds ago.
Anyway, I suppressed that and finished writing out my check. The pastor said his greetings, welcomed us to church and had us greet one another. We had sat in the same pew as our very good friends, who have been like parents to us since we moved to Henderson. The Mrs. asked me how I was doing, implying the unsaid part about being without Amanda at home now. I said the usual answer, "I'm OK." She gave that knowing look and answer saying, "I know, I understand. We can talk about it later."
That was the trigger. I finished the greetings, we sat down and heard the announcements. Suddenly the emotions I had held in check came flooding to the surface. Then we stood again and began to sing our opening songs. I teared up during the second song. Like a pitcher that you keep filling with water and don't keep an eye on, it will over-fill and spill over and down. I had to keep wiping my eyes and blowing my nose. I couldn't sing. I tried to take deep breaths and relax. I kept telling myself I was happy for her, it was a good thing that she is growing up and is in school. She's fine... I'll see her again... It will be OK....Get a grip, people will see me....
It took a few minutes, but my mind finally convinced my body to behave properly in public and I calmed down and was fine for the rest of the service. I could laugh at myself and say how silly and emotional I was. And except for the retelling of the events now, I have been doing pretty well since. Of course, it's only been three days. And what really helps is that we have talked to Amanda every day. Facebook has been a wonderful thing. The phone, and now we have video-chat. I can still get my daily dose of my G G. I know that probably won't last as her schedule gets busier, and she gets more used to being away from home. Somehow we will all adjust to these changes. Then they will seem normal(ish) and all will seem as it should. Until the next big change happens along. I wonder what that will be.....
My trusty camera also captured these images:
Until next time, TTFN
Debbie
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